Manisha Punwani, M.D.

415-599-4349

Parent Self Assessment Of Ten Promises

Parent Self Assessment Of Ten Promises

These questions assess your strengths in collaboration, communication, and support towards best parenting practices for your child. They assess your commitment to each promise in the book ‘TEN PROMISES’ that must be made as an individual parent. The TEN PROMISES that will shape your child’s development and your relationship with your child.

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Ability of the Parent to be a Partner in Parenting- To help develop a sense of security in child

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
1. As a to be parent did you have a good support system?
2. As a to be parent were there complications during pregnancy?
3. As a to be parent did you participate in parenting education?
4. As a to be parent did you experience anxiety around the pregnancy?

Ability of the Parent to embrace the reality of Parenting- To help develop a sense of being loved in the child

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
5. As a parent were you able to spend quality time bonding with your child after birth?
6. As a parent did you take on the responsibilities of the child’s physical needs after birth?
7. As a parent did you or do you struggle with any trauma or mental health issues?
8. As a parent did you or do you seek help for any emotional difficulties, family and/or work, financial stressors?

Ability of the Parent to honor the responsibility of Parenting- To help develop a sense of being Protected in the child

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
9. As a parent are you able to role model discussing feelings to your child?
10. As a parent do you have a hard time meeting the emotional needs of your child?
11. As a parent are you emotionally available to your child?
12. As a parent do you find yourself being overprotective or controlling towards your child?

Ability of the Parent to self-reflect and evolve in their Parenting styles- To help develop a relationship of trust with the child.

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
13. As a parent do you expect complete obedience from your child and strict discipline when not?
14. As a parent do you have open discussions with the child about boundaries and consequences?
15. As a parent do you prefer less rules while parenting and prefer child learning from their own experiences?
16. As a parent do you prefer not to be involved in the daily parenting of your child?

Ability of the Parent to role model Moral development- To help develop a morally sound, compassionate and ethical human being

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
17. As a parent do teach your child between right and wrong?
18. As a parent do you model respect and care towards others for your child?
19. As a parent do you discuss feelings and emotions with your child around their actions?
20. As a parent can you role model self-regulation when emotionally distressed?

Ability of the Parent to communicate and communicate with consistency- To help develop a sense of being respected in the child

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
21. As a parent do you give consistent message with your actions verbal and nonverbal to your child?
22. As a parent do you communicate your expectations with your child?
23. As a parent are you able to solve problems collaboratively with your child?
24. As a parent do you contradict, confront, make fun or discipline your child in front of others?

Ability of the Parent to role model self-care and self-regulation when overwhelmed with Parenting-To help develop empathy in child towards self and others

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
25. As a parent do you model self-care to your child?
26. As a parent do you feel embarrassed by your child’s challenges?
27. As a parent are you overwhelmed by parenting your child?
28. As a parent are you able to role model empathy towards your own limitations to your child?

Ability of the Parent to set boundaries, promote autonomy and guide towards responsibility- To help develop self confidence in the child

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
29. As a parent do you discuss autonomy and responsibility with your child?
30. As a parent are you able to set healthy boundaries with your child?
31. As a parent can you sustain consistency on healthy boundaries with your child?
32. As a parent do you give in frequently to the demands of your child even after setting healthy boundaries?

Ability of the Parent to set boundaries, promote autonomy and guide towards responsibility- To help develop self confidence in the child

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
33. As a parent do you show understanding and acceptance of your child’s stressors?
34. As a parent do you role model critical thinking skills to your child?
35. As a parent are you able to celebrate your child’s accomplishments?
36. As a parent can you encourage your child to problem solve?

Ability of the Parent to manage their own stressors without parentifying the child- To help develop a healthy attachment pattern and relationships in adulthood

Never
Rarely
Sometimes
Often
Most of the Time
Always
37. As a parent do you expect your child to emotionally support you?
38. As a parent would you seek support from your child about your relationship with coparent?
39. As a parent do you share your financial stressors with your child?
40. As a parent have you made your child feel guilty for not taking care of you?
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